Getting older...

...it happens every year, once a year. My birthday. I was talking with my Mom (several times a day these days), and she reminded me about something I'd forgotten about. My birthdays---for whatever reason, were generally highlighted with some sort of "drama". (I do remember spraining my arm or ankle or both on more than one occasion on the day of my birthday---). For whatever reason, it's a struggle kind of day---filled with some sort of inner or outer turmoil that I remain, at a conscious level, pretty unaware of. Yet inside I struggle with.

I guess even before I was born, I knew something about this day. I was two weeks late being born, as I refused to come out on time. Once I arrived, everything was fine. But this venturing out into the unknown is not something I do with ease---although, being the adventure seeking, take life by the horns and go person I am, I get myself into these situations that require I get out of my "comfort zone" with frequency.

Lots going on. I can't tell you how my heart twisted when I came home from lunch and saw "For Sale" signs on my lawn. I LOVE this house...This is all so hard. But Mike doesn't want to make a career, doing what he's doing....and as nice a town as Marshall is, it doesn't seem to be the right town for us. And this makes me sad---and yet the opportunity that has basically fallen our way feels like something we wrote for ourselves.

All I know, is that if I don't do this (we don't do this), we will always wonder about it. When I first took my new position, I let Pete and Lynn know that this was a possibility before I accepted the job. They still wanted me to come on board, and were very happy I was so upfront with them. Today the pilots and office crew came down to the hangar with a big huge birthday cake with three airplanes, and a "happy birthday, Joni love, Midwest Aviation" sentiment on it. Mike joined us for cake. It's too bad Mike's and my salaries weren't reversed and I was making enough money to pay the bills, because I have a pretty darn cool job and set-up.

Watertown, MA (all right...Seven Cycles) is a career/lifestyle opportunity though. So we have signed on the dotted line and are following our path for making a difference in an industry we have alot of passion for, and hope to enjoy ourselves a bit as well. I don't know what else to say, or what my struggles even are. Letting go --- even when it isn't perfect or right just isn't easy. It's easier to just do what we're doing and not rock the boat---unless, of course, it's not! Sigh.

A very dear man died today on my birthday. Royal Hackett, my God-Mom's dad...he lived for 92 years and we should all have had such a good life--he lived and died his way...He is at peace with his wife Mary.

My very dear cousin Sharon is having her birthday tomorrow. She lives in NYC and I look forward to seeing her art studio soon, now that I will be on the Eastern seaboard too. Happy Birthday Sharon!!!

Seize the day!